In the recent years I have been on a journey to understand the true meaning of suffering. I’ve gone from having a naïve, immature, foolish, self-righteous, pitiful and prideful belief that suffering is not for Christians to being thrown into a series of experiences that caused deep suffering to feeling overwhelmed by them (that I briefly became so numb to the Christian faith- I refused anything or anyone who had any affinity to being a Christian near me, my blog suffered a silent death and anyone who wielded Bible verses at me, I kept at arm’s length.) to lamenting with self-righteous indignation and frustration with ‘why this suffering and why me and what did I do’, to recognizing the lessons in it and humbly asking ‘teach me God to learn from my suffering’ to letting the truth sink in this past week that I must not be surprised when suffering overtakes me. For suffering throws light on my weakness, frailty and hopelessness of being a human. It draws me closer to the One who made me, and makes me deeply aware that I cannot do this life on my own. It makes me aware of my need for God.
As much as I have summarized an entire journey in understanding suffering in a short paragraph, I assure you that this mere understanding has taken a lifetime to arrive at. And I am still arriving. For my mortal body still struggles with a plethora of unsettling emotions each time when suffering happens.
I was reading 2 Timothy 1:11 and 12 this morning: “For this gospel I was appointed a herald, apostle and teacher and that is why I suffer these things. But I am not ashamed, because I know the One I have believed in and am persuaded that He is able to guard what has been entrusted to me until that day.”
As Christians, we ALL go through suffering in life. But here is what got my attention this morning: this suffering is tied to our purpose. It is because we are appointed by God for His purpose that we suffer. Our suffering is specific in nature to the purpose we have been called for. With every suffering, God refines us to be more mature, more able to live out our specific purpose. Paul, a highly educated man, and writer of most of the books in the New Testament acknowledges his suffering and says he is persuaded (=convinced, positive) that God whom he trusts and believes in is able to protect the purpose/ calling given to Paul for the time that he is still alive.
There is this saying that is well known in the Christian circle: “God does not call the qualified but qualifies the call.” I see suffering as a way for God to prune us and refine us so we may qualify with every bit of this pruning to be more suitable for what He has called us to be while we are on earth. Irrespective of our purpose during our time in this world, we are all being molded by every trial that comes our way to become more like Christ.
During this very challenging year, I encourage you to embrace your suffering and see it as a pruning, refining process so you may live, walk, speak, act more maturely and are better equipped to live out God’s call on your life freely and fully.
It helped me to personalize the verses in 2 Timothy and perhaps it helps you as well to see the bigger picture:
For this gospel, I was appointed a _____________ (insert what you believe God has called you to be/do) and that is why I suffer these things: _________________ (feel free to write down your challenges). But I am not ashamed, because I know the One I have believed in (do you truly know Him? Deeply, personally, as One who can be entrusted with our life? Or do you struggle to know Him personally? Is God just a fact or a mere figment of imagination? A Being you pray to mechanically? Is God One you go to only when you have troubles or a long list of wants?) and am persuaded (fully convinced, without a shadow of doubt) that He is able to guard ________________________ (fill in with what God has entrusted you with) until that day (when I see Him face to face after I die.)
If you are going through a rough time and are struggling to come to terms with it, I highly recommend Jason Gray’s devotional series (part 1, 2 and 3) on youversion called “Order Disorder Reorder”. It has personally helped me much to understand suffering from a Christian point of view and to understand that what I am going through is not something strange or uncommon.
Prayer
Heavenly Father, I find myself hopelessly drowning when suffering comes my way. But You are gently taking hold of my hand and showing me that my suffering is specific to my purpose, that it is not wasted and that it is there to make me more mature and useful and “qualified” for my purpose. I want to thank You for in You and through You and by You, I am more than a conqueror. Give me strength and wisdom and grace while I am here in the heat of the furnace. Lead me out as more humbled, refined and ready to do Your sovereign will. Help me to remain in You as I step into places You open up for me in complete obedience. I ask this in Jesus’ Name, amen.