Key Scriptures: Psalm 139:1–4, 23–24 | Psalm 37:5–7 | John 7:24 | Galatians 6:2
This morning, as I was reading Psalm 139, I found such precious comfort in God’s Word. And I pray that as I share what He has been teaching me through this passage, you too will be encouraged to draw closer to Him.
“You have searched me, LORD, and you know me.” (Psalm 139:1, NIV)
These words have become particularly precious to me because of a struggle I have carried silently for most of my life.
I have struggled with social anxiety for as long as I can remember.
At times, even ordinary interactions have felt overwhelming. I have experienced intense anxiety during examinations, public speaking and even something as simple as eating with others.
Maintaining eye contact can be intimidating too. I sometimes look away to calm myself down, but depending on where my eyes land, even that can be painfully misconstrued!
Imagine that! The very thing I do to manage my anxiety can become another source of misunderstanding.
Having experienced bullying during childhood, I know how deeply words and actions can wound us. Over the years, I have often found myself replaying conversations, sometimes even simple text messages, worrying about how I might have been perceived.
Social anxiety can be utterly exhausting!
Large social gatherings can also be overwhelming. While my extroverted husband happily moves around speaking to practically everyone, I can spend most of the time with the same one or two familiar people!
By the time he finds me, he is often frustrated that I am still standing in exactly the same spot!
Little does he realise that I have been quietly managing the anxiety of simply being in that room.
Following nearly two years of being largely confined to bed because of chronic pain, returning to social settings has caused some of these old anxieties to resurface.
For most of my life, I told absolutely no one about this struggle. My husband only recently began putting the pieces together after I finally opened up to him.
You see, even telling someone about social anxiety can become another source of anxiety!
And here I am, sharing this publicly! (good grief!)
A part of me wishes the ground would open up and swallow me whole so I wouldn’t have to face anyone’s reactions afterwards! Ha!
But I don’t want you to come away thinking only about how debilitating social anxiety can be. Because that is not the whole story.
Over the years, God has led me into places I could scarcely have imagined. The very situations one might imagine I would avoid!
(But more of that over the next two weeks!)
My testimony is about what God can accomplish through a surrendered life.
All glory to Him!
Fully Known by God
For years, whenever I felt misunderstood, I would retreat into the privacy of my home and weep before God. In solitude.
Because He knew what others could not see.
The Hebrew word chaqar (searched) in Psalm 139:1 speaks of thorough examination, while yada (know) conveys deep, personal knowledge.
What extraordinary comfort that the Lord knows our thoughts, intentions and even the words we have yet to speak!
I do not need to explain myself perfectly to God.
He knows the fear behind my silence, the intentions others may misinterpret and the tears no one else sees.
But something else in this psalm has been challenging me deeply.
David begins by acknowledging that God has already searched him. Yet towards the end, after speaking strongly about those who oppose God, he turns the attention towards his own heart.
He prays:
Search me, God, and know my heart; test me and know my concerns. (Psalm 139:23, NIV)
In verse 24, he says: See if there is any offensiveway in me; lead me in the everlasting way.
The same Hebrew word chaqar appears again.
David begins by declaring that God has searched him. He ends by inviting God to search him.
Although God already knows everything about David, David willingly invites Him to examine even the motives and attitudes he may not recognise within himself.
What humility! What surrender!
And what a powerful lesson for us.
Even when we have genuinely been wronged or misunderstood, does that mean there is nothing within our own hearts that needs examining?
Could pain have given way to bitterness?
Could fear have made us suspicious of others?
Could our longing to be vindicated have become more important than our willingness to forgive?
And here is another question that has been searching my heart:
Lord, even when I am painfully misunderstood by people, is my heart truly seeking to please You?
Am I acting out of obedience to You, or am I secretly seeking the approval of others?
Am I allowing the fear of rejection to govern my words, decisions and actions?
Could my preoccupation with how others perceive me be drawing my attention away from You?
In Galatians 1:10, Paul challenges us with this: “For am I now trying to win the favor of people, or God? Or am I striving to please people? If I were still trying to please people, I would not be a slave of Christ.”
How easily the fear of rejection can tempt us towards people-pleasing! We may compromise our convictions, remain silent when we ought to speak or make decisions based on what others might think rather than what God desires.
And we may not even recognise that it is happening!
Here’s the thing: when the fear of people’s opinions begins to govern our obedience to God, something has taken a place in our hearts that does not belong to it.
And I do not want my fear of being misunderstood to become greater than my desire to please Him.
I want more than the comfort of knowing that God understands me. I truly desire the transformation that comes from allowing Him to search me.
Rolling Our Burdens Onto God
Over the years, God has graciously allowed some misunderstandings to be resolved, sometimes many years later.
I remember waiting an entire decade before a very dear friend apologised for having misunderstood me.
Ten years!
And throughout those years, God knew the truth.
David writes in Psalm 37:5–6 about committing our way to the Lord, trusting Him and allowing Him to bring righteousness and justice into the light.
The Hebrew word galal, translated “commit”, means to roll.
What a beautiful picture!
Rather than desperately trying to control others’ perceptions or secure our own vindication, we can roll our burdens onto God.
Psalm 37 calls us to trust Him, continue doing good and wait patiently.
That does not guarantee every misunderstanding will be resolved in our lifetime.
But our peace need not depend upon receiving an apology.
God knows the truth, even when others do not.
And as I entrust my reputation to Him, I must remain willing to let Him correct whatever needs changing within me.
When Assumptions Become Judgments
This brings me to something I believe we Christians need to examine seriously.
How often do we mistake our assumptions about someone’s behaviour for discernment?
Someone avoids eye contact. We assume they are dishonest.
Someone remains quiet. We conclude they are unfriendly.
Someone withdraws. We judge them as arrogant.
But how do we know?
Have we sought to understand, or merely attached our own interpretations to their behaviour?
In John 7:24, Jesus warns against judging by outward appearances and calls for righteous judgment.
Jesus was saying, in essence, that something can appear obvious and still be completely misunderstood!
Righteous judgment requires truth, humility, careful examination and a willingness to correct our assumptions. We need the guidance of the Holy Spirit and the truth of God’s Word, not merely our own interpretations!
Are we genuinely discerning, or merely confirming what we have already decided to believe?
And am I willing to allow God to expose the assumptions I make about others?
Carrying One Another’s Burdens
“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:2, NIV)
In Galatians 6, Paul calls believers to restore others gently, examine themselves and carry one another’s burdens.
There is no room for spiritual superiority here.
But are our churches places where people can share their struggles without fearing immediate judgment?
Or have we created environments where everyone feels compelled to appear stronger and more spiritually mature than they really are?
We need mature, trustworthy believers who will walk alongside us, pray with us and encourage us towards Christ.
And we must become those people for others.
An Invitation to Draw Near to Him
Friends, I don’t know what burdens you may be carrying today.
Perhaps you have been misunderstood, rejected or wrongly judged. Perhaps your heart is broken, and nobody knows the pain you are enduring.
But God sees your broken heart. He knows what others cannot see. And He knows you completely.
May I encourage you to draw near to Jesus?
Drink deeply from the refreshing, life-giving waters of His Word. Lay your burdens at His feet and allow the Holy Spirit to minister to your weary heart.
But as you bring Him your pain, invite Him to examine your heart too.
Allow Him not only to comfort you, but also to reveal whatever needs to change and give you the willingness to surrender it.
This is my desire too.
Not merely to be understood or vindicated.
But to be transformed by the One who knows me completely.
A Prayer
Heavenly Father,
Thank You that nothing about me is hidden from You. You know my struggles, my fears and every tear I have shed.
Search my heart, Lord. Reveal anything that is not pleasing to You, including the hidden desire for human approval that can draw me away from obedience.
Teach me to entrust my burdens and reputation to You. Forgive me for judging others without seeking to understand them.
Give me a compassionate heart that carries another’s burden in love.
Lead me in Your everlasting way.
In Jesus’ precious name, Amen
Looking Ahead:
Next Week: Remembering Whose I Am
Do we truly understand who we are in Christ, or have we allowed our struggles, experiences and other people’s opinions to shape our identity?
I’ll be reflecting on what Scripture teaches us about our identity in Christ, what it means to belong to Him, and how knowing whose we are changes the way we see ourselves and live our lives.
And as we grow in the knowledge of Jesus, what happens when our hearts become so captivated by Him that knowing and pleasing Him takes precedence over everything else?